Are You The Leader in Your Own Life?
Here Are 5 Reasons We Resist Change!
You will have heard this wonderful definition of insanity: “Doing what you did yesterday and expecting a different outcome.”
I agree – it’s crazy! Yet how many of us want improved conditions and enhanced performance – without the will to change or the skill to drive it?
Every single desirable development of our lives will need something to change. Why DO we resist it so? To the point of procrastination – even self-sabotage! Here are 5 Very Good Reasons:
- It hurts. Yes, it does. There is an inbuilt part of my brain, and yours, which is absolutely dedicated to preserving homeostasis. Anything different (particularly early morning exercise, in my opinion) causes severe discomfort – and so it should. This clever reptilian brain of ours is just trying to protect us from imbalance. It hasn’t realized we’re in the world that needs us to change, and if we DON’T change we’ll die.
- It’s somebody else’s idea. Well, that’s usually true! Most other people seem to feel they know what’s good for us, better than we do, right? So almost all change or improvement initiatives are initially inspired by an external source. The question is – do we share the same desire for us to be different? And if not, would it be a good idea to check that out? With humility and a genuine desire to be the best we can be?
- On the other hand, maybe if I do change, other people in my life might become uncomfortable. Because they know me as I am. Maybe they don’t like change. So if I embrace it, I may not be able to embrace them any more. Or they may not embrace me. That could be very lonely.
- It actually shakes my self-concept to the core. I form my identity, my worldview, my core belief system which drives all my responses behaviours and actions, quite early in my life. It creates my orientation. If anything happens to alter that orientation, I become a displaced person. Even if it’s only momentary, it requires an adjustment on my part. That’s hard work. If I have to do it too often, I can become quite disoriented and dysfunctional. After all, how can I possibly perform at my peak if I don’t know who I am?
- I like things just the way they are. Well, maybe they’re not perfect. But they’re OK. And if we change things, they could be worse! Better the devil you know……..
Take a moment to check in with me on this.
ü Have you ever owned any of the above resistances?
ü Have you ever observed them in others around you?
They’re common. They’re almost universal. They will get in the way of just about every improvement you want to implement in your business environment or in your personal life. When you know them, you can manage them. Face them, respond to them, and commit to moving past them.
And here’s a final challenge in creating change, but arguably the most important to take on.
Check out your beliefs. Robert Fritz, author of ‘The Path of Least Resistance’, shows graphically how a negative belief will inevitably sabotage any attempt to move out of the current situation. The resulting Structural Conflict will make any improvement impossible. You may not be able to overcome those negative beliefs, but even acknowledging the beliefs, respectfully, and using the fear positively and productively to put risk management strategies in place, will be very useful. Without that awareness you have no chance to shape a managing strategy. Fritz describes the healthy approach as ‘Structural Tension’. Knowing the barriers exist, but having a managing strategy for them, allows you to focus more on the vision, and your own capacity to achieve it.
Success strategies are simple.
You know what you want. You believe you can have it. You work out how to get it. You take action. You know with confidence that you will have it – and it arrives.
We do it every day – and love it! So why do we sometimes make it so difficult? So, Are You The Leader in Your Own Life?